I've been officially dating my boyfriend for four months now but we've been casually seeing each other, mostly long-distance, for a year.
I love him and he has been the one taking a lot of steps to move our relationship forward. I am trying to figure out a world in which it could possibly be reasonable for this guy to publicly pretend to be his ex’s boyfriend, and all I can come up with is some John Green young-adult plot where he was about to break up with her when he discovered that she had terminal cancer, so he hid the truth, so she could die peacefully thinking that everything is OK (yet she really knows the truth and appreciates it only as an empty gesture).
Scammers may use carefully prepared webcam images or footage of themselves which may initially seem flattering, but can increasingly become coercive and explicit.
They steadily increase pressure on you to participate, which they record and later threaten to distribute online.
“I was stalking him too much, seeing him doing fun things on Instagram, and it hurt.”They’d been instant-messaging on Facebook, and one night he told her he loved her. Like, he was almost fat.” But now here they were, and she didn’t know quite how to get out of it. They started walking around the mall, “talking about nothing, nothing.
And then “I found out he was talking to, like, four other girls.” And now she wanted to do something to get over it, maybe to get back at him. All men are basically whores.” When he didn’t turn out to be her “true love”—“like Bella and Edward, or Bella and Jacob, you know? Alone in her room, the night before, reading her friends’ Twitter feeds and watching You Tube videos (Selena Gomez and “baby animals being cute”), she’d started feeling lonely, restless, and bored. It was awkward, totally weird.” He asked if she wanted to sit down, but there was nowhere to sit except in restaurants, so they wound up going inside a Pottery Barn and making out on a couch.
Messenger is a way to see people who are online in order to strike up a chat.
He says he is trying to protect me, but I don't need that, and I really think he's just trying to protect himself. I want to be sure he’s over his ex before we move forward but also I have zero interest in being “Facebook official." Let me get this straight: You’ve told him that his Facebook profile says he’s in a relationship with his ex. It's worth having a straightforward conversation in which you explain why this bothers you and tell him this weird, parasitic connection with his ex makes you uncomfortable. You should bluntly press him on this repeatedly but I also want you to understand the limits of detective work by imagining the best-case scenario: that your boyfriend is telling the truth.
But if his answers continue not to add up, you should probably push him out of your life. Imagine that he’s not cheating; he hasn’t even kissed her.
The scammer may pretend to be an attractive, potential partner and strike up an online relationship with you.
It may take some time and seem extremely believable.